Pedantology

Inception

2010-07-23T22:38:00.002+01:00

Inception the movie. No spoilers here.
I saw Inception last night at cineworld and was blown away. It stars Leonardo Di Caprio (who is not my favourite actor)and barrels along at a good pace, keeping the viewers interest throughout.
The idea is that it is possibe to enter someone's dreams and steal their secrets from the depths of their minds whilst they are sleeping, and so they are unaware of the "theft".
Unfortunately the best effects are shown in the trailers, which is somewhat disappointing. However, I'm not sure the movie suffered from that as there are far too many mind-boggling concepts to be pondering as the viewer tries to keep up the general plot and it's multi-dimensional mind-bashing.
Thoroughly enjoyable viewing, especially if you liked the movie "Matrix" but without the special effects of th aforementioned.
Inception is basically the "Matrix with Balls".
Go see it in the cinema now. Don't try to watch online, you're wastng your time, Inception just does not transfer onto your PC screen well.

Live long and prosper, Al

New Drive-through ATM procedures

2010-07-18T15:24:00.000+01:00

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After much careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'

*******************************

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

*******************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set hand brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Re-dial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release hand brake.

The International Council of Man Laws.

2010-07-17T15:59:00.001+01:00

I Like this :)

The International Council of Man Laws

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (B) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. © After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
11: Only in situations of mortal and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
15: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360 End of story.
26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
27: It is not permissible to make eye contact when watching porn with your mates. Furthermore, this is only one of two circumstances under which it is allowed to have an erection with friends in the room, the other being when you are 'spit roasting' a woman.
28: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
* 'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'
* 'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'
I hope this clears up any confusion, The International Council of Man Laws

Samsung Wave s8500

2010-06-13T15:35:00.002+01:00

I've now had my Samsung Wave S8500 for 48 hours and have to say I'm delighted with it.
It looks sleek and feels even better in the hand. The AMOLED screen makes colours more bright and vibrant and is so sensitive to the touch it makes using it a delight.
One thing that drove me nuts was the daftest T9 predictive text ever. How to switch off the T9 predictive text in the Samsung Wave? Wel, that took a lot of getting did that lol. It's easy in the end. You just tap to enter tet in a message and then a long hold on EN sees it gone forever.
Synching with the PC is not easy either. This ca only be done when the phone is in Idle mode. It took me ages to figure out how to do that too, but again, it's fairly simple when you know how. You got to Settings>>Applications>>Samsung Apps>>click the update function OFF and you're done. Once you're finished you need to go add your apps once again. A bit fiddly and surely Samsung could have come up with a better way?
That said, internet browsing is quick and easy. The messages section is very much like the iPhone and can be viewed in conversation mode for ease of conversation with your mates. I'm a heavy Twitter user so the Twitter App is particularly useful and reading my gmail account is great due to the large screen size.
I can't give the Samsung Wave S8500 10/10 due to the fiddly stuff above and the lack of available apps, but...I give it a 9.5/10!!
A truly excellent phone and very glad I stayed with my favourite phone company, Samsung.

Be Well and prosper,

Al

The Optimist Creed

2010-05-22T20:04:00.001+01:00

The Optimist Creed by Christian D. Larsen

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

2009-12-23T21:13:00.000Z

Health & Safety and Equality Considerations for Christmas Songs

The Rocking Song
Little Jesus, sweetly sleep, do not stir;
We will lend a coat of fur,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you,
We will rock you, rock you, rock you:

Fur is no longer appropriate wear for small infants, both due to risk of allergy to animal fur, and for ethical reasons.
Therefore faux fur, a nice cellular blanket or perhaps micro-fleece material should be considered a suitable alternative.
Please note, only persons who have been subject to a Criminal Records Bureau check and have enhanced clearance will be permitted to rock baby Jesus. Persons must carry their CRB disclosure with them at all times and be prepared to provide three forms of identification before rocking commences.

Jingle Bells
Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way

A risk assessment must be submitted before an open sleigh is considered safe for members of the public to travel on. The risk assessment must also consider whether it is appropriate to use only one horse for such a venture, particularly if passengers are of larger proportions. Please note, permission must be gained from landowners before entering their fields. To avoid offending those not participating in celebrations, we would request that laughter is moderate only and not loud enough to be considered a noise nuisance.

While Shepherds Watched
While shepherds watched
Their flocks by night
All seated on the ground
The angel of the Lord came down
And glory shone around
The union of Shepherd's has complained that it breaches health and safety regulations to insist that shepherds watch their flocks without appropriate seating arrangements being provided, therefore benches, stools and orthopaedic chairs are now available. Shepherds have also requested that due to the inclement weather conditions at this time of year that they should watch their flocks via CCTV cameras from centrally heated shepherd observation huts.
Please note, the angel of the lord is reminded that before shining his / her glory all around she / he must ascertain that all shepherds have been issued with glasses capable of filtering out the harmful effects of UVA, UVB and Glory.

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer
Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.

Little Donkey
Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little' and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights.

We Three Kings
We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient’s name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC routefinder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three Kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.

Away in a Manger
No Crib for a bed - Social services???????

Actual call centre conversations!!!!!

2009-11-04T00:23:00.001Z

Actual call centre conversations!!!!!

Customer: 'I've been ringing 0800 2100 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?'.
Operator: 'Where did you get that number from, sir?'.
Customer: 'It was on the door to the Travel Centre'.
Operator: 'Sir, they are our opening hours'.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Samsung Electronics
Caller: 'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about'.
Caller: 'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'
Operator: 'I think you mean the telephone point on the wall'.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
RAC Motoring Services
Caller: 'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia ?'
Operator: 'Doesn't the product name give you a clue?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France ):
'If I register my car in France , do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Directory Enquiries
Caller: 'I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please'.
Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?'
Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off'.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator: 'Woven? Are you sure?'
Caller: 'Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland '.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator:
'I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on'.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop'.
Customer: 'OK'.
Tech Support: 'Did you get a pop-up menu?'.
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer: 'No'.
Tech Support: 'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?'.
Customer: 'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click''.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Tech Support: 'OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'
Customer: 'Wow. How can you see my screen from there?'
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Caller: 'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?'.
---------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I t hink this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for 'Termination without Cause'.
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!):

Operator: 'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller: 'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect..'
Operator: 'What sort of trouble??'
Caller: 'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away.'
Operator: 'Went away?'
Caller: 'They disappeared.'
Operator: 'Hmm So what does your screen look li ke now?'
Caller: 'Nothing.'
Operator: 'Nothing??'
Caller: 'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator: 'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??'
Caller: 'How do I tell?'
Operator: 'Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??'
Caller: 'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator: 'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller: 'There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type.'
Operator: 'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller: 'What's a monitor?'
Operator: 'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that
Tells you when it's on??'
Caller: 'I don't know.'
Operator: 'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it.
Can you see that??
Caller: 'Yes, I think so.'
Operator: 'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall.
Caller: 'Yes, it is.'
Operator: 'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged
into the back of it, not just one??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable..'
Caller: 'Okay, here it is.'
Operator: 'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.'
Caller: 'I can't reach.'
Operator: 'Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??'
Caller: 'No.'
Operator: 'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??'
Caller: 'Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.'
Operator: 'Dark??'
Caller: 'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window.
Operator: 'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller: 'I can't.'
Operator: 'No? Why not??'
Caller: 'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator: 'A power......... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now.
Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??'
Caller: 'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator: 'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you
got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.'
Caller: 'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator: 'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller: 'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??'
Operator: 'Tell them you're too f ---ing stupid to own a computer!!!!!'

Obama and the Nobel Peace Prize

2009-10-16T21:03:00.003+01:00

I really should have called this the periodic blogger lol!
A few days ago I read about Obama getting the Nobel Peace Prize. My immediate reaction was this, "I really need to start watching the news more often, I must have missed something REALLY BIG".
Nope, you guessed, I hadn't missed anything, he seemas to have been awarded the prize for his words and thoughts???
Henry Ford once said " You cant build a reputation on what you are going to do.", seems Henry was wrong, you can!!!
As I spend the majority of my time speaking and thinking, I'm fully expecting a knock on the door next year and having to write out my acceptance speech!!!!!!!!!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

True Friendship... SCOTTISH STYLE!!

2009-09-25T22:21:00.003+01:00

True Friendship... SCOTTISH STYLE!!

(None of that Sissy Crap)

Are you tired of those piss weak 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality?

Well, here are a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship.

You will see no cute little smiley faces on this card

Just the stone cold truth of a great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get pissed and plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are thinking of something that I would probably want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will take the piss out of you every chance I get until you're NOT.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you stories about how much worse it could be until YOU STOP WHINING!

6. When you are confused -- I will try to use only little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will laugh at you, you clumsy arse, but I'll help you up.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask;

Because you are my friend.

Friendship is like pissing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel the true warmth.

tell 10 of your closest friends about this and......

Then get depressed because you can only think of 4 .

Midweek Update

2009-09-17T20:58:00.002+01:00

I forgot to say that last weekend I had a brill time with my two eldest kids and their partners at Proms in the Park at Glasgow Green.
An excellent time was had by all and of course we got slightly inebriated, well ok.....very inebriated lol!!!!!!!!!!
Tonight I've been updating Dezinaworld for my best friend June, you can find her blog here too. She is a veritable dynamo when it comes to producing fabulous graphics!!
Tomorrow is Friday and there's nothing better than that Friday feeling huh??
See ya at the weekend!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

This Weeks Top Ten Tweets

2009-09-13T19:20:00.004+01:00

Sorry forgot to do this last week lol!
Sooo here are the best ten tweets I've seen this week.
As always, if you like the banter, copy and paste the username into Twitter and follow them!

@CHRISVOSS I have a perfect body. It's your vision that's defective..

@Pearlydean After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water? George Carlin

@mastercreating "Progress involves risk. You can't steal second base & keep your foot on first." Bob Proctor.

@SOCIALMEDIAPRO1 Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

@General_Trivia My son is now an "entrepreneur." That's what you're called when you don't have a job.Ted Turner

@mike2977 Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

@Courtney_182 We are all capable of achieving whatever it is that we want to achieve. If you don't think so, ask yourself why not?

@UnseeingEyes What's dumb? Directions on toilet paper. What's dumber than that? Reading them.

@mastercreating After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles."

@VOSSENERGY My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate. So I got two girlfriends

Be Well and Prosper.
Al

Help Wanted!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-13T19:16:00.001+01:00

I need a Psychic, you know what it's about and where to apply already. ;)

PLR Gangster Free??

2009-09-05T20:40:00.002+01:00

Yes Folks!!!!! Today you can download PLR Gangster for Free!!
Learn the secrets of creating a Information Empire using the PLR you probably already have on your harddrive!!
All you need to download PLR Gangster free is click on this link!!
Wooohooo how nice is that lol!!!!!!!!!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

This weeks Top Ten Tweets!

2009-08-30T00:12:00.003+01:00

OK here are my Top Ten Tweets Of The Week!!
Not in any order, just as I saw them, as always just copy and paste the @name into twitter and follow them!!

@UnseeingEyes Bill Cosbys Twitter Philosophy: I dont know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

@delmonifieth What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job

@YouQuotedQuotes The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible. Arthur C. Clarke

@stephbro77 "Character is the result of two things: mental attitude and the way we spend our time." -- Elbert Hubbard

@DarrenGibson Life is Change. Growth is optional Choose Wisely. ~UNknown

@mike2977 Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

@rleseberg Dont take life too seriously. Youll never escape it alive anyway. ~unknown

@SOCIALMEDIAPRO1: If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

@stillsafe "Without words, without writing and without books there would be no history, there could be no concept of humanity." Hermann Hesse

@Pearlydean Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

A Glasgow Love Poem

2009-08-29T19:06:00.001+01:00

*
SLAGGY SENGA FELL IN LOVE,
SHE PLANNED TO MARRY JOE.
SHE WAS SO HAPPY 'BOUT IT ALL,
SHE TOLD HER FAITHER SO. *
*
FAITHER TOLD HER, SENGA DOLLL,
YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER.
I'D JUST AS SOON YUR MAW DON'T KNOW,
BUT JOE IS YUR HALF BRITHER. *
*
SO SENGA PUT ASIDE HER JOE
AND PLANNED TO MARRY WULL.
BUT AFTER TELLING FAITHER THIS,
HE SAID, 'THERE'S TROUBLE STILL.' *
*
YOU CANNY MARRY WULL, MY DOLL,
AND PLEASE DON'T TELL YUR MITHER.
BUT WILL AND JOE, AND SEVERAL MERR
I KNOW IS YUR HALF BRITHER. *
*
BUT MITHER KNEW AND SAID, MY DOLL,
JUST DO WHAT MAKES YO' HAPPY.
MARRY WILL OR MARRY JOE;
COS FAITHERS NO YUR PAPPY !!! *
*
Kinda' brings a tear to yer eye, don't it?*

Caster Semenya

2009-08-22T20:28:00.002+01:00

Caster Semenya won the World 800m in Berlin.
Before the final however, what did the authorities do? They openly questioned her sexuality in front of the entire world. The lass is only 18 years of age, can you even begin to imagine what she was going through as she ran the biggest race of her life? Knowing that everyone was watching her purely and simply to join in the Guess The Sexuality game and not to watch her triumph???
Then as she stood on the top podium to receive her Gold Medal she was acutely aware that everyone across the globe was peering at the closeups and not cheering her (her fans were of course).
I hope she sues the authorities for psychological damages and sues for several millions in a US court where damages are assessed at a higher level than anywhere else on the planet.
The auhtorities are in need of a big jolt for the way they have conducted themselves regards this matter.
They have shown scant regard for one of their own and caused untold damage to the psyche of a highly talented athlete.
Sack em all now I say!!!!!!!!!!!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

This weeks Top Ten Tweets!!

2009-08-22T17:03:00.003+01:00

My Top Ten Tweets for this week.

@SUPERAE3 There is only one person who could ever make you happy, and that person is you.

@ProsperbyDesign When you hire people smarter than you are, you prove to them that you are smarter than they are!

@manifestfuture Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin

@Pearlydean My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

@jcordella Belief consists in accepting the affirmations of the soul; unbelief, in denying them. Ralph Waldo Emerson

@mike2977 Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

@General_Trivia If you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work.Kahlil Gibran

@Pearlydean I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

@bigdawg10 The only way to make sense out of change is to plunge into it, move with it, and join the dance. ~Alan Watts

@HemalRadia Let go of the 'how', let the Universe orchestrate that. Your job is to set your vibrational tone with ur thoughts

As always, if you like the tweets you see just copw and paste the user name into twitter and follow them!!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Get Paid To Advertise?

2009-08-14T15:53:00.001+01:00

I just found a new site where you can get paid
to advertise..!

That's right.. join, verify your account
and tell others.. and you will get paid up to
$1.50 per referral!

Your referrals don't have to buy anything..
they just have to be looking for places
to promote their websites, just like you..

and you get paid for every one that signs up..!

It's like "CPA meets effective advertising"

Join today: Click here!!!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Is Twitter Down Again?

2009-08-11T20:14:00.004+01:00

Is twitter down again??
Now, I love twitter to bits, I do, It's fantastic but..........it's getting incredibly frustrating with all the outages!!
Yes, I know they were under attack from hackers but for goodness sake guys, get your act together!!
They keep banging on about fast twitter is growing but there seems to be a lack of growth in bandwidth and security updates which cause the darned thing to crash on a whim.
Please do something twitter or you'll begin to die a slow death as some bright spark comes up with a similar idea that actually does work 24/7!

Rant Over lol!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Top Ten Tweets of the Week

2009-08-07T20:52:00.005+01:00

I decided to post my top ten tweets of the week from twitter, only had the idea today soooo they are all from today lol! I'll try to do this each week and post when I get ten I particularly like as opposed to waiting for the weekend. Might even end up doing top ten of the day cos they come in so fast lol!

In no particular order they are;

@Astronautics; Folks, did you know that Twitter had as their server password the word "password"? (True). =^..^= The lights are on; noone's in.

@DebPenner; "Life is too short to waste. Dreams are fulfilled only through action, not through endless planning to take action." David J. Schwartz

@AhhPhotography; When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

@stillsafe: Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.Sir Winston Churchill

@mikewiz: When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they're not it.

@jet12345; It's not what happens to you that determines how far you will go in life it's how you handle what happens to you.

@LorettaHelson: "When a man does not know what harbor he is making for, no wind is the right wind." ~ 1st Century Roman Philosopher

@MartinJAllsop; Remember it's your own body, your own brain You're not a victim of the universe, you are the universe - R Bandler

@delmonifieth; Smile. Tomorrow's going to be worse

@Paul_Holgorsen; The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

If you like the banter, then follow these tweeps!!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

DezinaWorld, new site and blog!!

2009-07-28T00:21:00.004+01:00

OK....I know I have an input into this as it's me that's doing the main webpage at Dezinaworld but.........you doo need to believe me that June MacFarlane's work is superb and I am soo excited about getting it all tied up in the next few weeks!
I'll tell you what I'm taking about.
Dezinaworld is a brand new site that will offer digital backgrounds, collage singles and sets and some fantastic digi stamps all made by June MacFarlane herself!
June has decided to pre-empt me somewhat lol and has set a Dezinaworld blog to test the market as it were. Way to go June! Very impressed!!! :)
You can view Dezinaworld here.
You DO need to go take a look though! I've been around the net for a long long time and the digital crafting images she produces are top quality and the name June MacFarlane will not be far from everyone's lips in the very near future!!

Click Here Now To Visit Dezinaworld!!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Sometimes I just jump in.....

2009-07-27T21:31:00.002+01:00

Yeah, sometimes I just jump right in without thinking......
Normally though I take a lot of time before I make a purchase online and I did have some to think about this one so today when the email alert arrived, yeah I just went and bought it lol.
The item in question is a serious of video training by a guy I have bought from before so because I trust hom, I got it at the.......hate these terms.......early bird or fast mover discount. When it's finally released I'll do a review here and post a link. Could well be worth the wait because I genuinely am quite excited about this one!!
The rest of today? Twittered a wee bit but not much, will do more later.
I was supposed to be out of the office in the afternoon but got cancelled unfortunately, ah well gave me time to do other stuff ;)

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Twitter and stuff

2009-07-26T19:11:00.003+01:00

Soooo, it's been a few days since I've been here, planned on posting yesterday but my net connection was less than iffy lol.
Was thinking the other day (I know that's not a good idea ;) ) but........ water is stored underground for millions of years..and then...we put it in bottles and slap a use by date on it? Go figure......... ;)
I lost over 100 followers at Twitter last Thursday, apparently now and again Twitter do some spring cleaning and clear out spammer accounts and bogus accounts, would be nice they actually told us this upfront?
3 times in the last half hour I've boiled the kettle, well the water in it actually, and forgotten to pour it in the cup, dementia is setting in quicker than I thought .......
And now, gonna go get that coffee before I forget again!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Crafting Forum!!

2009-07-18T21:11:00.004+01:00

A heads up for any crafters passing by!
There is a fabulously friendly bunch of gals over at the Creations by JJ Forum here!
Even thought I don't craft myself, I can still marvel at the creativity shown and the beuaty of the creations.
Sooo if you craft get over to the Creations By JJ Forum!!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

We Choose The Moon

2009-07-16T19:45:00.003+01:00

We Choose The Moon is a fabulous new website tracking Apollo 11 on it's way to the moon in real time using archive footage and simulations!
I had just turned 11 when Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon and if I was hooked on all things Space before... I was then absolutely addicted to it!
And yeah....I watch all the Shuttle launches online as well ;) you can watch a re-run of last nights STS-127 launch here along with live footage of the shuttle on it's way to the space station Space VidCast, a fantastic site for the space buff!!
Oooohhhh love this stuff, beam me up Scotty!!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

The Death Of Torchwood?

2009-07-13T19:38:00.005+01:00

I have spent the weekend pondering the future (or not) of Torchwood on BBC.
The latest offering from Torchwood, Children of Earth, was dark, really dark, but I won't be revealing any key details just in case you haven't seen it yet ;)
This was five rip roaring episodes aired on consecutive nights and for Sci-Fi fans it was a veritable viewing feast. With more twists than Rapunzle's pony tail it never let up before finally hitting viewers with some cold hard facts about captain Jack. Amazing stuff!!
The question does arise though, have we seen the death of Torchwood?
Even before the series aired, actors like John Barrowman had been quoted as saying it was like a "kick in the teeth" to be promoted from BBC3 to BBC2 to BBC1 only to have the number of episodes reduced from the norm of 13 to just five.
I have to agree and there is certainly something afoot behind the scenes.
The moralities of the Torchwood team must surely now be questioned just as the future of the series must be also.
But, and it's a big BUT, the new latest series will have no doubt, spawned a great many new fans who may never actually get to see any further episodes?
Has the Beeb finally shot itself in the foot?
Will Torchwood return?
I do not know. What I do know is this, I hope it does return and I wait with much anticipation to see which direction the Torchwood team takes in the future!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Samsung Tocco Lite?

2009-07-03T19:30:00.003+01:00

Last week I got a Samsung Tocco Lite and think I may well be in love lol!!
Now ok, it's not exactly an iPhone but hey, it's got a fabulous touch screen, plenty of apps, fast internet browser and so on. It's actually better than the full blown version after comparison with a colleagues contract phone so if you're in the market for a new phone and can't afford an iPhone then the Tocco Lite is the one for you. (In my humble opinion of course! ;)

The Gurus Piss Me Off

2009-06-23T23:07:00.002+01:00

I dabble in Internet Marketing and am in the process of branding myself like a lot of others........
Now you'll have noticed something here, I don't market thru this blog, I do it elsewhere, this is for fun.
But the so-called Gurus out there really piss me off. They all seem to follow each others trends.
For instance, when one sends out an "Ooops my bad Al, correct link enclosed!" email, the rest seem to follow suit like it's a good idea.
They all sell the same "next big thing" at the same time so you can predict what all the mails are about from reading the email header.
I'm not that daft to go buy something at $997 or more that's going to disappear in just a couple of months but sadly there are loads of others who do go flinging their money at self proclaimed millionaires in the hope they will at last extract the "secret".
That, friend, is never going to happen.
If you knew a "secret" that was making you mega bucks, would You sell it to the masses?
Of course you wouldn't! You might sell a snippet of one of the components but there is no way you are going to reveal it to anyone at any price.
You think Coke would sell their secret recipe? Naaaah!
So keep your money in your paypal accts and pick and choose the best value products. There are loads out there for under $20 that will tell you all you need to know if you take the time to read them all. After that, it's trial and error, you find the ways that work for you, develop your own formula and you are on your way :)

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

50 ways you know you're Scots

2009-06-23T21:38:00.003+01:00

Got this in an email today, 50 giveaways that you're Scots

1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

4. You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldyin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold.

5. You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as its deep fried - haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars.

6. You used to love destroying your teeth with - Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.

7. You always greet people by talking about the weather.

8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (in fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it)

9. You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland play a diddy team.

10. You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking deaths in Europe.

11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

12. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.

13. You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly, when you are pissed.

14. You are able to recognise the regional dilect, (Glasgow) 'Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin tae? Fair few quines in the night, min. (Inverness) Ah-eee right enuffff! How's you keeeepeeeen?

15. You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout - 'Errapolis.'

16. You have witnessed a 'Square Go'

17. You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?'

18. You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porridge, Macaroon Bar, Baxters Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.

19. A Jakey has asked you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

20. You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.

21. You know that the right response to 'you dancing?' is 'you askin?' followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'.

22. You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the 'jannie' always, used to pour it over sick in school.

23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt.

24. You don't do shopping, you 'go for the messages.'

25. You're on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

26. You are able to conduct a 20 minute phone call using three words only - Awright, aye, and naw.

27. When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ' You no well?'

28. You have heard the following:
'You canny fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,
700 hungry weans'll testify tae that,
If its butter, cheese or jelly,
If the breed is plain or pan,
The chances o' it reachin earth,
Are ninety nine tae wan.'

29. You know that going to a party means bringin a kerry-oot.

30. Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heatwave back home.

31. Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was 'no a bad result'.

32. You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy.

33. You love deep fried Pizza.

34. You can't pass a Kebab shop after being at the pub.

35. You are used to four seasons in one day. (winter, winter, autumn, winter)

36. You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

37. You see people wearing shellsuits with Burberry accessories, and think 'that's class'.

38. You measure distance in minutes.

39. You understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

40. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's abroad.

41. You can make a whole sentence using only swear words.

42. You know what haggis is made with, but you still enjoy it.

43. You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures.

44. You have been to a wedding and the football results have been announced in church.

45. You are not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc.

46. Your seaside home has Calor gas under it.

47. You know that Irn-Bru is a good hang-over cure.

48. You could swear before you could count.

49. You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.

50. You are truly Scottish when you understand the following- How's it hingin', clatty, boggin', cludgie, Ba'heid, bawbag, and double nougat.

TV on the internet

2009-06-20T19:59:00.004+01:00

Thought I'd post my fav video and tv channels online for your perusal, only links that work in the UK have been included cos obviously I can't see the others lol!

For full length, latest movie releases, the best two I have found are;
Project Free TV - I found this one first, some links are slow to load but good nonetheless.
Movie25 - The best I've found so far, easy to navigate, images of movies shown, classified by genre and latest.
Please note; the above sites do not host the movies, they give you links.

For sports fans like yours truly these two are best;
MyP2P - wall to wall sports! You may need to download some software to watch (safe, so far I've had no viruses etc).
ATDHE - Limited but reliable sports website, most open either in Win Media Player.
Please note; the above sites do not host the sport, they give you links.

Free TV players for your PC;
Zattoo - Very good quality streaming of national tv channels, good if you're frustrated that a programme is not showing in your region. Download and install the stable software and off you go!
FilmOn - Similar to Zattoo but with a wider range of channels, beware if you have young children, it includes a porn channel!

Free TV Channels - General and fairly comprehensive Online TV site, loads and loads of channels.

On Demand TV ; Catch up with the main UK stations on demand.
BBC iPlayer
ITV Player
Channel 4 On Demand
Channel Five On Demand

For the techies out there you can watch videos at On the Couch. These guys have a great sense of humour and give great advice too!!

More to come when I find em ;)

Be Well and Prosper!

Al

What should have happened at Britains Got Talent

2009-06-19T20:23:00.004+01:00

Still working on that free Twitter ebook :( Been so busy I haven't even been able to see the tail I'm chasing lol!
I've had an extremely busy week at work, got home and felt completely knackered so am soooo glad it's finally the weekend!!
OHHH you're wondering what should have happened at Britain's Got talent??
See the video below!!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

So what's new??

2009-06-12T22:57:00.003+01:00

Soooo what's new with yours truly??
I've really put the pressure on myself lol, three websites to build at once. It wouldn't have been so bad but I went thru a 2 week period where nothing got done on the one that takes priority and then I decided to snag my name as a domain so need to work on that and then to add the pressure, my bud at work is a Hypnotherapist and asked my ages ago to redo his website.
He didn't seem to be very much into progressing things so didn't do a lot with that but suddenly he has a burst of energy and hey ho I need to work on that now too lol!
Ah well such is life and it'll do me good to try to meet targets.
As a bit of leisure, I'm putting together a short e-guide on twitter that will be free to all and include Giveaway Rights. The only way to lay your hands on it will be by visiting a site and tweeting you were there so if you want it you'd best get your Twitter account sorted now lol.
Ok am off now to partake of a small libation via the neck of a wine bottle ;)
Have fun!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Star Trek Movie and stuff

2009-05-31T23:38:00.004+01:00

Sooo I went to see Star Trek friday night with my eldest lad. Blown away as a thoroughly amazing movie!! Loved the effects, the answers to questions I'd asked before over the years and also......... the casting was fabulous and the humour of the original series was in there as well.
Been a great weekend here in sunny Glasgow weatherwise. Makes you feel so much better does some sun!
Haven't tweeted much over the weekend, did some saturday night but that's about all, not really been in the mood for sitting refreshing the page and retweeting and answering direct enquiries, it's too time consuming lol.
CYA sometime.

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

A good night had by all

2009-05-23T17:00:00.003+01:00

I had a good night last night.
An evening with my daughter and her partner, a few drinks and a meal aftwerwards. You can't ask for more than good company and good surroundings!
Looking forward to seeing the new Star Trek movie at the Imax later in the month with my eldest son too.
The plan off today is to get to work on a website for a pal, do some work on a couple of my own sites and of course do #Followfriday at Twitter, a day late but hey better late then never lol!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

1000+ Followers on Twitter

2009-05-17T15:59:00.003+01:00

Last Night I hit 1000 followers on Twitter.
It's taken a couple of months and there are those on twitter who would throw their arms in the air and ask why the slow progress. The reason is, I Don't Use automated software, I Don't Go Randomly following others in order to see the follower count go up. I also stopped using the futile links I posted a couple of weeks back, all I got from them was the follow/unfollow gang lol, yeah I learned my lesson ;)
I have no use for a list of followers who don't read my tweets, that's utterly pointless.

So, how do you grow your followers without doing all the above?

First, you need to complete your profile, most tweeters (myself included) don't follow anyone who has not completed their profile.

Tweet often to keep your profile page showing you are active. Again, no recent activity means I don't follow back.

Limit your marketing tweets to 1 or 2 per day maximum. Currently, I only do a marketing tweet about twice per week.

ReTweet often. People like it when their tweets are forwarded on and will do the same for you. It's about building relationships dontcha know! A little bit of familiarity and trust goes a long way.

Vary your tweets. Don't just tweet about your one and only fav subject, tweet about loads of em. So far today I've tweeted about football, politics, charity links, funnies etc.

Engage with others by replying to their tweets or RT (ReTweet) with something like <=I like this!! tagged onto the end. When someone retweets your tweet, reply to them and say thanks.

Get yourself a custom background and add some additional static info showing why you give value. Check out mine here. See the white panel on the left? I tell folks I'll RT their "good cause or charity" tweets and I do it too. I know this way I will get likeminded folks following me.

More Twitter Tips to follow when I think of them lol.

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Quick Ramble

2009-05-15T20:03:00.003+01:00

It's been a while and boy has it been a busy while lmao!!!
Too many projects at the one time left me absolutely knackered and i really need to prioritise more effectively. Not easy for one who loves to jump from one thing to another............. :(
Tonight I have #followfriday at twitter to do, an index for my best buds new domain, a bunch of pics to resize and upload for another pal and the list goes on.
Ah well lol, it's Friday so a late night isn't a problem and I secretly like nights like this but shooossshhh don't tell anyone ;)
That's it for now, need to get on ;)
Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Help Find My Child

2009-04-18T21:00:00.004+01:00

Help Find My Child is new and fast growing site that actively promotes and helps to locate missing children across the globe!
All you need to do to join this great bunch of volunteers is go their website Help Find My Child and sign up and promote the cause!
Use your blog, website, facebook, MySpace, Twitter anything you like and you can make a real difference!!

Hope to see you there soon!!!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Love Twitter, Hate Facebook

2009-03-30T11:22:00.003+01:00

So, here I am laid up and off work bah!
Pulled a muscle in my left leg on Friday and still can't manage a decent representation of walking.
All is not lost though, I'll have a bit of time to get me new membership site launched at the weekend. Great when you find a member script that acutally works!! :)
Wonder what I did before twitter? It is totally addictive and I love the interactivity it offers in real time.
Did you get your twitter freebie btw? Still available by clicking here :)
I signed up to Facebook....hmmmm.....giving it a miss, can't even find the url to send folk to or even see my own front page. :(
Time to exercise the peg leg ;)
Be well and prosper,
Al

Do You Twitter? Three Freebies For You!

2009-03-21T15:56:00.003Z

Do you twitter? If so, you'll like this to get you on the right track!
Here's what you get for no cost and no sign up required either!
TWITTER TRAFFIC MAGIC
TWITTER AUTOMATION REPORT
TWITTER IT PACKAGE with PRIVATE LABEL RIGHTS!!!!
Remember, it's all for no cost!
Click here to get your free threebie!!

That was great decision you made to click and check it out!!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

On Life...again and other stuff

2009-02-25T15:22:00.005Z

My Pal's lad is doing ok thankfully. He's up and about albeit with a leg dragging a bit and speech slurred. The fact is, he's making progress and that's what matters. :)
I've started twittering. Ok I know I twitter on about stuff anyway but Twitter.com is a great way to make contact and stay in conrtact with others without the hassle of making long blog posts or sending emails. You can join me at twitter here.
Today is Wednesday which means there is a free healing session over at my Reiki forum, you can get there directly by clicking here. It starts at 8pm UK time and all you need to do is become a member and post your details in the thread.

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Trouble Staying Motivated?

2009-02-22T23:27:00.002Z

Right now I'm in Healing mode, mainly due to Adam of course (see previous post) but also because I'm building up my free reiki site once more after a prolonged absence but back online again. I purchased the Private Label Rights to this ebook so I could break it down and post online and of course....you don't need to buy it now ;)
Want to read the ebook? Just Click here and you'll go there directly!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

On Life

2009-02-21T22:31:00.002Z

Every now and again....something happens to change your perspective on life stuffff.
Last night my best pal's son, aged 30, had such a bad stroke that no operation is possible, is in intensive care and all the family can do is sit and wait. He doesn't smoke and lives a clean life. Recently, he found a new partner who was already pregnant. He fell in love and made the decision to bring up the unborn child as his own. Baby is healthy and a couple of months old but Dad is in hospital.
Makes you wonder why stuff happens huh? I'm not religious but consider myself to be a spirtual being and I also practice reiki as a Master/Teacher. I'm often asked questions about life related matters. When it comes to ordinary day to day stuff, that's not a great problem but things like this leave you stunned and without words.
If you are reading this just now I would like to say this.
You are conscious, breathing and probably at home. You have enough wealth to have a PC and be online. You are healthy enough to be reading this even if you have a disablity. You may be cold because you can't afford the heating bills but you DO have shelter. You may be hungry also but you made the choice to pay the broadband bill instead of eating. You had and made the choice.
From today onwards I urge you, appreciate the little things you do each day without even realising you do or have them. Then when something bigger comes along you will really appreciate it for what it is. Be happy!!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

A Saturday Ramble

2009-02-07T18:46:00.003Z

Currently got the West Indies vs England cricket Test match on the radio. Not sure if England are pathetic (Yeah I'm a Scot lol but I do like to follow England at cricket ;) ) or the Windies have simply found a real match winner in Taylor. The score at the moment is England 28-7 and on course for their lowest ever test score. They need to score 45 to avoid that.
Anyway....I was at Burns Night last night, only my second ever, and I had a ball! Great recitals from all involved and a thoroughly enjoyable experience. One of the speakers recited this it's not Burns, it's Matt McGinn but is fantastically funny and called The Big Effen Bee. Enjoy!!!

25 Signs You Have Grown Up

2009-01-31T20:42:00.000Z

25 Signs You Have Grown Up

1. Your houseplants are all alive, but you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "breakup."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps from noon to 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you're a gal, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

Shannon Mathews' Mother gets 8 years

2009-01-23T23:40:00.003Z

Shannon Mathews' Mother gets 8 years imprisonment.
This woman conspired with Michael Donovan to kidnap her own daughter in order to fraudulently obtain the reward money for finding her.
In doing so, she cost the general public £3.2m, subjected her own daughter to a most horrific and traumatic experience and subjected her family to a similarly horrific emotional roller coaster.

Quotes from the Judge Mr Justice McCombe's summation;

"It is impossible to conceive how you could have found it in you to put this young girl through the ordeal that you inflicted upon her.

"It is incomprehensible that you could have permitted your friends, neighbours and in your case, Matthews, even your children to sacrifice time and energy in extensive searches for the supposedly missing child."

8 years........... that woman will, in true brit justicial fashion, be out in 4 years with good behaviour.

NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!
The punishment must reflect the crime and in this case the punishment most definitely does NOT meet the crime.
I am sick to death of the so-called "Justice" system in the UK. Weak and wimpish, they should take a leaf out of our freinds across the pond in the US and make sentences real and actually deter someone from committing such atrocities.
OK, rant over.

be well and prosper,
Al

Bushisms

2009-01-08T16:59:00.004Z

I found these online and thought I'd pass em on. Love him or loathe him you do have to say that George W. Bush and his bushisms do make you laugh.

"They misunderestimated me."

"There's an old saying in Tennessee - I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee - that says, fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me - you can't get fooled again."

"There's no question that the minute I got elected, the storm clouds on the horizon were getting nearly directly overhead."

"I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."

"The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself."

"The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the - the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."

"Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

"Reading is the basics for all learning."

"You teach a child to read, and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test.''

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

"Will the highways on the internet become more few?"

"Information is moving. You know, nightly news is one way, of course, but it's also moving through the blogosphere and through the Internets."

"Those who enter the country illegally violate the law."

"That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three - three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"

"All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone."

And my personal favourite.......................

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."

Be Well and Prosper,

Free Games To Play Online

2009-01-07T18:39:00.003Z

I just uploaded a new website. Called Free Games 2 Play Online you can go there by clicking here
All the games are free to play and no sign up is required!
Soooo if you want free games to play online...now you can!!!
Have fun!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Blog Candy!

2009-01-04T23:26:00.003Z

Ok a rave instead of a rant lol.
My good friend June at Paper Jewellery is offering Blog Candy with a difference to launch her new site PaperJewellery.net. Instead of giving you graphics for your website she is offering a real, tangible jewellery item that is totally unique for a link to her blog. All you need to do is go to Paper Jewellery snag the blog url, link your blog to it and then post a comment to be entered in the draw for one of June's Paper Jewellery products!
This is too good to miss IMHO!! Go get in the draw now!!

Be Well and Prosper!
Al

2009 Is here

2009-01-01T15:42:00.002Z

Hi everyone and I take this opperchancity to wish you all a very Happy New Year, a fabulous 2009 and hope it brings you nothing but the good stuff!!
2008 was a mixed bag for me that fell marginally on the negative lol so looking forward to a new start ;) I know dates and numbers are largely unimportant as we don't actually know when the universe started exactly and it was def a lot earlier than 2009 years ago but...... I'm a sucker for the psychological boost a being can get from being able to throw off the shackles of past problems and start afresh lol!

Be Well and Prosper!

Al

The Pope and Gender Theory in Christmas Speech

2008-12-26T23:19:00.006Z

Across the globe, individuals, rights groups, activists and yes, even politicians have to be careful about every syllable uttered for fear of offence and possibly imprisonment and yet....Religious Leaders appear to be permitted to say exactly what they wish and suffer no legal comeback.
The latest being Pope Benedict in his Christmas Speech about gender theory. Now, I am not gay but I do have several gay friends who have great spiritual intelligence and integrity, their sexuality does not alter their levels of spirituality one little bit.
So what gives Pope Benedict or any other religious leader for that matter, the right to say that humans have the "right to be saved" from issues such as transexuality, homosexuality and gender blurring? Why are the aforesaid not taken to task on a legal basis for inflaming bias against minority groups the same as the rest of us?
IMHO it is well past the time that they were indeed taken to task. If a Muslim were to say that the world should be saved from Christianity he would be jailed for terrorism or related charges.
For me the time has come for the Governments of this world to realise that religion is not above the law that governs us and take action to stop comments as detailed before from being aired.
The religions themselves have also got to look at the Big Picture and realise the impact their comments are having on the ordinary person and do a bit of self-governance and, I hate to say this, exercise some political correctness.
Rant over, hope you get the gist ;)

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

I hate that Barnardos Ad or do I love it....

2008-12-26T19:49:00.003Z

Yeah, you know the ad from Barnardos, the one with the young teenage girl? She gets slapped over and over again, shown after taking drugs etc etc. Well I hate it with a vengeance, it makes my skin crawl and I have to turn away.
But before you start screaming at me, listen up. That means I actually have to love it simply because it is that powerful. It means the message might be getting through to those who need to receive it the most.
That is exactly the effect Barnardos wanted to achieve and by golly they did in style this year, so way to go Barnardos!!
In the meantime I hope you all are having a great festive season!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Merry Christmas

2008-12-12T18:43:00.003Z

Dear Friends,
Just before the end of the year, I wanted to thank you for the e-mails and txt you have forwarded to me over the year.

I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time. But that will change once I receive the £15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft are sending me for participating in their special email programs. Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split seven million dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .

I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my bum.

I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will sit on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way....a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ who don't have enough sex, always read their bebos while holding the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Be Well and Prosper!

Al ;)

Euthanasia and Assisted Suicide?

2008-12-10T23:56:00.004Z

Here in the UK there is a major Hoo Haa going on regards this subject on three fronts.
1. A film was broadcast that showed the last living moments of one Craig Ewart as he died in Switzerland in assisted suicide. Craig had Motor Neurone Disease.
2. No charges to be brought on the parents of the rugby player Daniel James who was paralysed from the chest down and died in Switzerland.
3. MSP Margo McDonald, who has a degenerative disease, Parkinsons Disease, has launched a bid to have assisted suicide legalised in the UK.

Now, I'm not going to rant about this as it wouldn't do the cause any good.
I have extensive experience working in residential homes for the elderly and if I had a £ for every resident who asked me why assisted suicide/euthanasia was not legal because they had had enough pain, I'd be a few bob up and close to early retirement. None of these individuals were being pressured by relatives etc and did not have any monies of note to leave in a Will. No, they had simply had enough of life after say, 90 years and were looking towards death with longing. Most if not all had some form of illness they found painful and debilitating.

We, as humans, decide when an animal's pain has reached a point when it is "humane" to put them down and yet we do not facilitate our fellow humans with the same ""Humane" option. Should we not be affording out fellow humans the same compassion we give to animals?

If any member of my family was suffering to the extent that they could convince me and the medical profession (in the UK or any other country) that they truly wished to end their lives rather than continue in insufferable pain or to avoid inevitable insufferable pain, I would be glad to assist them to relieve their pain once and for all. I would also like to think that they would show the same compassion for me should the situation arise.

My biggest fear is dementia, I don't want to lead my life like that in the future and hopefully, by the time I get to the age where it is most prevalent, a Living Will will be legal and I will have one on place in order to put me out of my misery and see my wishes carried out.

This is 2008, we need to move forwards in this modern world with modern thought and not adhere to 2000 year old +++ religious doctrine.

At present we are moving backwards into the future. Let's change that!

Be Well and Prosper!
Al

Froch, Khan, Maccarinelli win, Harrison...

2008-12-07T00:15:00.005Z

With no footie for my nominated teams other than Wigan, who lost to Arsenal due to the weather, the focus tonight is pugilism aka boxing.
Best fight of the evening was the Carl Froch vs Jean Pascal WBC Super-Middleweight bout. This was a classic fight with both fighter throwing bombs and haymakers from start to finish and you will see footage on the classic fight sites forever. Seriously, I can't think of a better fight at super middleweight. Froch eventually came out on top, the judges made it by 8,6 and 4 rounds. I made it closer but then I just watch lol and frankly the 2-7 odds for Froch seemed a travesty for this Canadian who really went for it and no doubt in the future in my eyes, will feature in a return bout between these two, perhaps to unify the title?
Elsewhere, for the brits, it was a good night. Amir Khan regained his winning form against Oisin Fagan with a second round stoppage having completely overpowered his opponent with skill, speed and strength. Something tells me Fagan was a well chosen oppnent?
Enzo Maccarinelli got back to wimming ways after his stunning loss to David Haye in a hurriedly arranged heavyweight bout with Matthew Ellis with a second round knockout. A good win which will give him confidence if his proposed WBO Cruiserweight title fight comes to fruition.
Audley Harrison...what can I say? I saw him win at the Olympics and thought I had seen the perfect heavyweight, poise, power, mobility, will to win. It seems that when Audley gets hit....he stops fighting rather like the school bully who Knows he's bigger and better than you but when you challenge him he backs down. He lost tonight by a single point to Martin Rogan and the above scenario applies. One of the most disappointing "British Hopes" ever.....

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Jags Win In Cup

2008-11-30T23:30:00.004Z

Soooo the 3rd round of the Scottish Cup away to Stirling Albion proved to be a bit nervy come the end for the Jags. Having lead 2-0 and 3-1 the jags somehow managed to contrive to lose a late goal and set up a nervy last few minutes. Thankfully they saw them out and progress to the 4th round draw to take place Monday.
Elsewhere, Darlington had no game and Wigan Athletic scored a later winner against bottom of the table West Brom to rise to 11th in the Premiership after todays results were in. The draw for the FA Cup also took place today with the Latics getting a difficult draw against Spurs. Hmmm, tough one that!

According to the president of the European Commission, Jose Manuel Barroso, the UK is closer to adopting the Euro as it's currency. I'm all for that. I know brits all over the place are set on keeping the pound but the benefits outweigh the loss. Tourism increases because there is no longer a need for Euro-tourists to pay for currency conversion. I don't need to pay for it either. I like going to other countries but having to convert and re-convert currency is a real pain and the value varies so much these days I can and have lost out big time. Time for a change at can't come soon enough if you ask me!

Until next time....

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Life should mean Life..WOT

2008-11-27T20:33:00.006Z

Tuesday night the Jags got dumped 1-0 by Ross County, what is going on with the performances away from home I do not know. :( This Saturday sees a visit to Stirling Albion in the 3rd round of the Scottish Cup. Recent form suggest this is gonna be tough :(

I find this ridiculous;
A man who fathered nine children by raping his two daughters over many years has been jailed for life with a minimum term of 19-and-a half years.
19 1/2 years? That's life? That means I've lived 2 1/2 lives already? The pain and sorrow and damage that man has inflicted upon so many lives means he should remain in prison until he dies, a Life sentence should mean just that...Life. The sentence sucks as does out judicial and sentencing system.

I find this free tool fantastically useful;
It's here and free. Called WOT or Web if Trust, it installs in seconds, is unobtrusive and allows you to rate pages along with all other users and get warnings if they have rated it dangerous. Exceedingly useful!

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Speech to text.....

2008-11-24T22:47:00.003Z

Astoundingly boring... not much else I can say about the pre-budget speech. Why do they call it a Pre-Budget Speech when changes are made to the budget? To me a Pre- anything is preparatory and not an action in itself. If the speech was made yesterday to prepare us for todays announcements then I could understand that?
Anyway, pretty nondescript as far as I'm concerned and really, life does kind of just go on as normal, skint! ;)
Wigan played badly but still managed to beat Everton 1-0 at home at the JJB. 3 points and out of the relegation zone, yaaay!
Been on the lookout for Speech to Text software for free and there is not a lot out there. I found out how to get it running in Word 2007 but it's not exactly mind-blowing, even after spending an hour "training" it by reading several texts out loud. If anyone knows of any that are any good, I'd be obliged if you could point me in the write direction ;)
Police in England and Wales are to be trained to us and carry Taser guns (they immobilise criminals using a brief 50,000 volt charge). Way to go guys, test em out before they're introduced in Scotland lol makes a change us not being used to test stuff like that. Although.....there are a couple of areas up here I can think of where the officers of the law would get a lot of practice? ;) ;)

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Pats go 7-4, Pre-Budget Report?

2008-11-23T22:37:00.006Z

Cassel is really coming into form in the absence of Brady and tonight threw 415 yards for 4 TDs in the Patriots 48-28 win over Miami. Excellent display!
Nothing to do with the above......
The UK Pre-Budget Report is due tomorrow. Expected are a cut in VAT charges to 15% from 17.5% and an increase in upper band tax (over £150,000 pa) to 45%. Now, I can see how a VAT reduction would work to boost spending on consumables (it's only a temporary measure) but increasing the tax on top earners with the most disposable income puzzles me. Granted, it's from next year but I do feel a big HMMMMM.... coming on with that one. We'll see in the fullness of time...
The world's oldest polar bear, Debby, has died at the age of 42. Why do I mention that? The bear was "captured" as a cub and spent virtually the whole of it's 42 years in captivity. A human would need to commit multiple murders to get that sentence. Not exactly what I call a quality life for an animal that deserves to live in the environment it was born for, the wild. :(
I can feel this developing into an anti-zoo rant so I'll sign off and cool off. ;)

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Pedantology?

2008-11-22T23:13:00.002Z

So why, I hear you ask, call the blog Pedantology?
Well, I thought I made the word up myself but googled it earlier and it seems I'm not the first by a long chalk. No surprise there lol. It appears there is even a Church of Pedantology..go figure that one ;)
As I'm often overly argumentative about the finer details of "stuff" in general and overly critical of the actions of the "Establishment", I thought it would be a humourous play on words to represent the Psychology of a Pedant. Yeah go figure that one too :)

OK I'm off, waaay too much time on the pc today.

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Jags Go 3rd

2008-11-22T19:38:00.002Z

Good result today, the Jags beat cash strapped Livingston 2-1 at home and move up to 3rd place in the division. Match report here. A win on Tuesday away at Ross County will move them up into 2nd and consolidate the push for promotion.
Elsewhere, Darlington were knocked off top place after a hard fought draw away at Brentford and my other team, Wigan Athletic play on Monday night when they host Everton.
In the NFL, Patriots go head to head with the Dolphins tomorrow night, too close to call that one :(

Yeah I like my sport lol.

Be Well and Prosper,

Al

Strictly Rubbish

2008-11-22T13:59:00.000Z

Wednesday was bored and channel hopping. At the bottom of the BBC News 24 screen is a scrolling ticker with BREAKING NEWS. Caught my eye that did. Was it a Tsunami? Terrorist Attack? Earthquake? No no no, it was the shocking news that..... John Sergeant had pulled out of Strictly Come Dancing.
Get real. It's not exactly earth shattering. These Non-Reality shows are taken far too seriously and should be watched (why does anyone want to?) and treated as fun, nothing more.
On a much more serious note there's only 45 minutes to go until kick off............. ;) Come on the Jags!!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Out of the box

2008-11-22T00:36:00.000Z

The blog in a box is out of the box. Seems like a good idea just now to have somewhere to have a gab and a rant and whatever.
If anyone would like to enlighten me as to why some folk get blogspot blogs and some blogger, I'd be obliged. :) Especially as I clicked on blogspot lol. Edited to include...Ok figured that one myself lol!
I used to think it was just us Scots who hated to see fellow Scots succeed and did their darnedest to see them brought down a few pegs. Seems it's spread to the whole of the UK in the wake of the Russell Brand/Jonathan Ross fiasco. I call it a fiasco not because I like these guys, I actually have difficulty, great difficulty, liking them. But, and it's a big but, what the heck is going on? Ok, I accept that what they did was extremely tasteless and they should def be disciplined....but (again) like Andrew Sachs didn't know it was crank call????? Come on and get real! Yet another UK Press witch hunt to endure and the blame culture in this country gathers yet more momentum like a runaway juggernaut mowing down all before it.
Oh, the above sounded like the UK hated Scots being famous, I meant it's really the Brits hate Brits being successful now ;)

Live Long And Prosper!
Al