Friday, 23 July 2010


Inception the movie. No spoilers here.
I saw Inception last night at cineworld and was blown away. It stars Leonardo Di Caprio (who is not my favourite actor)and barrels along at a good pace, keeping the viewers interest throughout.
The idea is that it is possibe to enter someone's dreams and steal their secrets from the depths of their minds whilst they are sleeping, and so they are unaware of the "theft".
Unfortunately the best effects are shown in the trailers, which is somewhat disappointing. However, I'm not sure the movie suffered from that as there are far too many mind-boggling concepts to be pondering as the viewer tries to keep up the general plot and it's multi-dimensional mind-bashing.
Thoroughly enjoyable viewing, especially if you liked the movie "Matrix" but without the special effects of th aforementioned.
Inception is basically the "Matrix with Balls".
Go see it in the cinema now. Don't try to watch online, you're wastng your time, Inception just does not transfer onto your PC screen well.

Live long and prosper, Al

Sunday, 18 July 2010

New Drive-through ATM procedures

'Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After much careful research, "MALE & FEMALE" procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.'



1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.



1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set hand brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of check book.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.

25. Re-dial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release hand brake.

Saturday, 17 July 2010

The International Council of Man Laws.

I Like this :)

The International Council of Man Laws

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (B) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her Blouse. © After wrecking your boss's car. (d) When she is using her teeth.
3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.
4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a mate's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your mate's birthday is strictly optional. At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's choice.
7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
8: When stumbling upon other blokes watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your girlfriend.
10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
11: Only in situations of mortal and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.
13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see anything.
15: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
18: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
19: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
20: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing i.e., both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone. Hang up if necessary.
22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend' have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion occurs about what a big mistake it was.
23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable for her to drive yours.
24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colours of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
25: The girl who replies to the question 'What do you want for Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360 End of story.
26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's Gymnastics. Ever.
27: It is not permissible to make eye contact when watching porn with your mates. Furthermore, this is only one of two circumstances under which it is allowed to have an erection with friends in the room, the other being when you are 'spit roasting' a woman.
28: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:
* 'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'
* 'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife square on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'
I hope this clears up any confusion, The International Council of Man Laws

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Samsung Wave s8500

I've now had my Samsung Wave S8500 for 48 hours and have to say I'm delighted with it.
It looks sleek and feels even better in the hand. The AMOLED screen makes colours more bright and vibrant and is so sensitive to the touch it makes using it a delight.
One thing that drove me nuts was the daftest T9 predictive text ever. How to switch off the T9 predictive text in the Samsung Wave? Wel, that took a lot of getting did that lol. It's easy in the end. You just tap to enter tet in a message and then a long hold on EN sees it gone forever.
Synching with the PC is not easy either. This ca only be done when the phone is in Idle mode. It took me ages to figure out how to do that too, but again, it's fairly simple when you know how. You got to Settings>>Applications>>Samsung Apps>>click the update function OFF and you're done. Once you're finished you need to go add your apps once again. A bit fiddly and surely Samsung could have come up with a better way?
That said, internet browsing is quick and easy. The messages section is very much like the iPhone and can be viewed in conversation mode for ease of conversation with your mates. I'm a heavy Twitter user so the Twitter App is particularly useful and reading my gmail account is great due to the large screen size.
I can't give the Samsung Wave S8500 10/10 due to the fiddly stuff above and the lack of available apps, but...I give it a 9.5/10!!
A truly excellent phone and very glad I stayed with my favourite phone company, Samsung.

Be Well and prosper,


Saturday, 22 May 2010

The Optimist Creed

The Optimist Creed by Christian D. Larsen

Promise Yourself

To be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.

To talk health, happiness, and prosperity to every person you meet.

To make all your friends feel that there is something worthwhile in them.

To look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true.

To think only of the best, to work only for the best and to expect only the best.

To be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.

To forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future.

To wear a cheerful expression at all times and give a smile to every living creature you meet.

To give so much time to improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.

To be too large for worry, too noble for anger, too strong for fear, and too happy to permit the presence of trouble.

To think well of yourself and to proclaim this fact to the world, not in loud word, but in great deeds.

To live in the faith that the whole world is on your side, so long as you are true to the best that is in you