Tuesday 23 June 2009

The Gurus Piss Me Off

I dabble in Internet Marketing and am in the process of branding myself like a lot of others........
Now you'll have noticed something here, I don't market thru this blog, I do it elsewhere, this is for fun.
But the so-called Gurus out there really piss me off. They all seem to follow each others trends.
For instance, when one sends out an "Ooops my bad Al, correct link enclosed!" email, the rest seem to follow suit like it's a good idea.
They all sell the same "next big thing" at the same time so you can predict what all the mails are about from reading the email header.
I'm not that daft to go buy something at $997 or more that's going to disappear in just a couple of months but sadly there are loads of others who do go flinging their money at self proclaimed millionaires in the hope they will at last extract the "secret".
That, friend, is never going to happen.
If you knew a "secret" that was making you mega bucks, would You sell it to the masses?
Of course you wouldn't! You might sell a snippet of one of the components but there is no way you are going to reveal it to anyone at any price.
You think Coke would sell their secret recipe? Naaaah!
So keep your money in your paypal accts and pick and choose the best value products. There are loads out there for under $20 that will tell you all you need to know if you take the time to read them all. After that, it's trial and error, you find the ways that work for you, develop your own formula and you are on your way :)

Be Well and Prosper,
Al

50 ways you know you're Scots

Got this in an email today, 50 giveaways that you're Scots


1. Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.

2. The only sausage you like is square.

3. You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at high school.

4. You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldyin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold.

5. You have an irrational need to eat anything from the chippy, as long as its deep fried - haggis, pizza, white pudding, sausage, fish, chicken and battered Mars Bars.

6. You used to love destroying your teeth with - Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.

7. You always greet people by talking about the weather.

8. Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (in fact you'll probably ask the DJ to play it)

9. You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland play a diddy team.

10. You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking deaths in Europe.

11. You used to watch Glen Michael's Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

12. You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.

13. You only enjoy Weir's Way on the telly, when you are pissed.

14. You are able to recognise the regional dilect, (Glasgow) 'Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin tae? Fair few quines in the night, min. (Inverness) Ah-eee right enuffff! How's you keeeepeeeen?

15. You know the police are about to arrive when you hear someone shout - 'Errapolis.'

16. You have witnessed a 'Square Go'

17. You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, 'Are you Catholic or Proddy?'

18. You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock's Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porridge, Macaroon Bar, Baxters Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes.

19. A Jakey has asked you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

20. You wait at the shop counter for 1p change.

21. You know that the right response to 'you dancing?' is 'you askin?' followed by 'am askin' and finally 'then am dancin'.

22. You associated sawdust with vomit, coz the 'jannie' always, used to pour it over sick in school.

23. You lose all respect for a groom who doesn't wear a kilt.

24. You don't do shopping, you 'go for the messages.'

25. You're on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

26. You are able to conduct a 20 minute phone call using three words only - Awright, aye, and naw.

27. When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ' You no well?'

28. You have heard the following:
'You canny fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,
700 hungry weans'll testify tae that,
If its butter, cheese or jelly,
If the breed is plain or pan,
The chances o' it reachin earth,
Are ninety nine tae wan.'

29. You know that going to a party means bringin a kerry-oot.

30. Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heatwave back home.

31. Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was 'no a bad result'.

32. You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy.

33. You love deep fried Pizza.

34. You can't pass a Kebab shop after being at the pub.

35. You are used to four seasons in one day. (winter, winter, autumn, winter)

36. You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

37. You see people wearing shellsuits with Burberry accessories, and think 'that's class'.

38. You measure distance in minutes.

39. You understand Rab C. Nesbitt.

40. You go to Saltcoats because you think it's abroad.

41. You can make a whole sentence using only swear words.

42. You know what haggis is made with, but you still enjoy it.

43. You know someone who planned their wedding around the football fixtures.

44. You have been to a wedding and the football results have been announced in church.

45. You are not surprised to find one shop selling ALL of the following: Pizzas, Nappies, Fags, Curries, Milk, Paint, Shoes etc.

46. Your seaside home has Calor gas under it.

47. You know that Irn-Bru is a good hang-over cure.

48. You could swear before you could count.

49. You would 'nut' a terrorist if they tried to bomb your Airport.

50. You are truly Scottish when you understand the following- How's it hingin', clatty, boggin', cludgie, Ba'heid, bawbag, and double nougat.

Saturday 20 June 2009

TV on the internet

Thought I'd post my fav video and tv channels online for your perusal, only links that work in the UK have been included cos obviously I can't see the others lol!

For full length, latest movie releases, the best two I have found are;
Project Free TV - I found this one first, some links are slow to load but good nonetheless.
Movie25 - The best I've found so far, easy to navigate, images of movies shown, classified by genre and latest.
Please note; the above sites do not host the movies, they give you links.

For sports fans like yours truly these two are best;
MyP2P - wall to wall sports! You may need to download some software to watch (safe, so far I've had no viruses etc).
ATDHE - Limited but reliable sports website, most open either in Win Media Player.
Please note; the above sites do not host the sport, they give you links.

Free TV players for your PC;
Zattoo - Very good quality streaming of national tv channels, good if you're frustrated that a programme is not showing in your region. Download and install the stable software and off you go!
FilmOn - Similar to Zattoo but with a wider range of channels, beware if you have young children, it includes a porn channel!

Free TV Channels
- General and fairly comprehensive Online TV site, loads and loads of channels.

On Demand TV ; Catch up with the main UK stations on demand.
BBC iPlayer
ITV Player
Channel 4 On Demand
Channel Five On Demand

For the techies out there you can watch videos at On the Couch. These guys have a great sense of humour and give great advice too!!

More to come when I find em ;)

Be Well and Prosper!

Al

Friday 19 June 2009

What should have happened at Britains Got Talent

Still working on that free Twitter ebook :( Been so busy I haven't even been able to see the tail I'm chasing lol!
I've had an extremely busy week at work, got home and felt completely knackered so am soooo glad it's finally the weekend!!
OHHH you're wondering what should have happened at Britain's Got talent??
See the video below!!


Be Well and Prosper,
Al

Friday 12 June 2009

So what's new??

Soooo what's new with yours truly??
I've really put the pressure on myself lol, three websites to build at once. It wouldn't have been so bad but I went thru a 2 week period where nothing got done on the one that takes priority and then I decided to snag my name as a domain so need to work on that and then to add the pressure, my bud at work is a Hypnotherapist and asked my ages ago to redo his website.
He didn't seem to be very much into progressing things so didn't do a lot with that but suddenly he has a burst of energy and hey ho I need to work on that now too lol!
Ah well such is life and it'll do me good to try to meet targets.
As a bit of leisure, I'm putting together a short e-guide on twitter that will be free to all and include Giveaway Rights. The only way to lay your hands on it will be by visiting a site and tweeting you were there so if you want it you'd best get your Twitter account sorted now lol.
Ok am off now to partake of a small libation via the neck of a wine bottle ;)
Have fun!

Be Well and Prosper,
Al